I just had all my blood work done a couple of weeks ago and it was all pretty awesome news.
My T is basically non-existent, it didn’t take too much Androcur(anti-androgen) to get it right down as my T was already low before I started this process. My E is up and I feel pretty balanced and leveled out at the moment. The last five months of adjusting has been a bit of an emotional ride. I love it though, even in the roughest times I wouldn’t have it any other way. The E has made me feel aligned with myself. I have never felt so at ease and comfortable in my skin as I do now.
In the last few months I have been introduced to quite a few trans/gender diverse people and it’s been great finding my people amongst the masses. It’s like the networks and pathways I’m on now are guiding me to my people one by one. It’s been really reaffirming to meet people who have gone through this process already and can share their experiences with me. I am finding so much similarity in all our stories and this is what defines the trans experience for me. Having gone through 35 years of life thinking I was totally alone in this world, to finding more and more people similar to me has been such a rewarding experience.
My course has started and I have been loving using my brain and absorbing information again. My intellect has missed this type of stimulation since I got injured. It’s making the pain I’m living in secondary and it’s taking my mind off it, which is good.
My hair is growing out slowly and I haven’t worn my wigs for a couple of months now and I feel way more feminine when I look in the mirror, it’s like this subtle glow that the E is given me, that’s what I see anyway.
I getting more happy with my body as it’s changing too. I feel less dysphoric at the moment than I have ever felt which means the hormones are doing their job. My breasts are coming along slowly and I am proud to say I have now got noticeable little breasts. My body has lost most of its muscle mass and has turned it to fat. I think I’m at the stage where it’s starting to redistribute the fat into different spots of my body.
It’s such an amazing process to go through, being so aware of these slow subtle changes that are taking place within my body.
So far, just over two years into this process of authenticity I have had to learn an incredible amount and as always, I have learned by my mistakes. I think the hardest part about transitioning is the environment and the people around you. Last year I was incredibly unstable and was fighting against my dysphoria, it made it harder because I was surrounded by people who had already defined themselves in life and knew who they were. It was not the type of environment to start hormones and go through the physical and emotional development that I needed to begin. Life has been a great deal better now that I have a stable environment to live in. It’s made this process a whole lot easier.
Be good to people,